Being mother to a large family, I fight the tendency to whine and complain about so many things all the time. Every time I voice a complaint, I feel ugly. I seldom see much good come from the negative and often sarcastic comments I spit out there, yet it's like I think everyone is going to jump up and change my world.
David said, “I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed.” (Psalm 77) The more we complain, the more we believe our complaints. Likewise, on days when cheerfulness is my creed, I seem to get happier as the day progresses - as do those around me.
Two weeks ago, I was on a team that led an ACTS retreat for women at my church. I needed a get-away as much as the retreatants did, and am so glad I had said yes to serving on the team. It was truly a mountain-top experience with the Beloved and a shot in the arm for my tired mind, body and soul. As a result, I feel much refreshed now.
Interestingly enough, the team spends most of the weekend "serving" other women - the first time retreatants. We sleep less hours, run behind the scenes setting up for each 'event', feed them, love on them, take care of every need they might have - and yet, it is a labor of love. (That description sounds much like my job description as a mother and even at my job as coordinator of a Catholic campus ministry to college students.) Nonetheless, after catching up on some sleep the day after the retreat, I feel amazingly refreshed and renewed. God had plenty of 'good stuff' for me that weekend, as well.
Most of the time, however, I can’t seem to give myself permission to take time “for me.” I think that is true for so many people, especially women. We grew up “burden-conscious,” instead of “blessing-conscious.” We say things like, “I don’t have time.” "Who will do my work?” “No one appreciates how much I do or how much I need this.” Or even, “I don’t deserve it.”
Who created our schedule any way? Do we get our self worth from carrying the world on our shoulders? Does the voice in our head say, “If I don’t do everything perfectly, and on time…I’m a failure…others won’t respect me…need me…love me?” Look out! That’s the voice of pride! However humble and self-sacrificing it may sound, it’s just pride. We all have limits and we all need time to recharge.
What’s really important in our lives? If we had only a year to live, we’d figure out in a hurry, wouldn’t we? Three things would change right away: We’d place more value on what we have, than on what we want. We wouldn’t be in such a hurry. Being right and perfect would lose their appeal.
Instead of complaining and being overwhelmed today, why don’t we count our blessings, and figure out what’s really important. And if you have to get away for a day, or two, or more - DO IT! I recommend a retreat. They refresh you at such a deeper level, but, however you can take a break "for you", find a way. You will thank yourself and so will those around you!
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